Step 1
The first step of the model is to approach the conflict openly. This means making direct contact with the person you are in conflict with and initiating dialogue. You must lower your defenses and be ready to say, “I am ready for us to resolve this and move forward.”
Step 2
The second step is to uncover the real problem. Each party tells their side of the story without interruption. Then, together, you identify the main aspects of the conflict. It can be easier to address the issue if you separate the people from the problems—perhaps by organizing the issues into themes.
You might discover that you have different needs and interests. Once you have uncovered the real problem, it becomes clearer what the conflict is truly about.
Step 3
Once the issue is clarified, you can start exploring solutions. A conflict often arises because one party wants to go in one direction while the other wants to go in another. Therefore, you need to find alternative solutions or a “third way.”
When searching for alternative solutions, brainstorm in relation to the needs and interests that emerged when you uncovered the issue. The solutions you find must be tested. Are both parties satisfied with these solutions? Do they address the identified interests? Do they resolve the conflict as uncovered?
Step 4
The final step in the conflict resolution model is to make an objective decision. You must establish concrete agreements with objective criteria that both parties agree on as the method for resolving the issue moving forward.
It is also a good idea to agree on a follow-up. Depending on the matter and the scope of the conflict, you might, for example, agree to review the situation in a month to see if both parties are on track and whether the agreed-upon solution has resolved the conflict.