How to Handle Conflicts – An Introduction to Conflict Management
Learn how to manage conflicts. Read about different types of conflicts and how, with the help of a simple model, you can learn to handle them effectively.
By Pia Fuglsang Bach, Community Manager at CfL, updated June 2023
Leadership is not a subject. It is a choice. If you choose to become a leader, fortunately there are a number of tools you can draw on to improve, but before you get that far, there are certain issues you must come to terms with yourself. Let’s illustrate this with two very different starting points:
…and increasingly it is you that your colleagues look to when decisions are made, and when the management team meets behind closed doors again and again. You are not afraid to be the standard-bearer for the more critical voices at your department meetings. In general, you are a good communicator. Your boss has noticed, and it often happens that she seeks your advice.
There is also the whole informal part. You just need to stand by the coffee machine or take a short morning walk before you have gathered a wealth of information on big and small matters. At home, you repeatedly entertain your partner with tales of absurd leadership decisions that you could have handled much better.
…yet increasingly it is you that your colleagues turn to when decisions are made. Of course, you are happy to share your knowledge, and your boss has also noticed that. It often happens that she takes you along for advice, and to your delight it is not uncommon that your solutions are implemented in the department. In meetings, you are willing to contribute an analysis of a given problem – when you are asked, that is.
The small talk by the coffee machine, however, is not really your cup of tea – unless it’s about deciphering last weekend’s football match or the latest leadership column in the Weekend Newspaper. As for your home life? We’ll stop there. That’s private.
You don’t have to have read much pocket psychology to guess that the two examples border on caricatures of the extroverted generalist and the introverted specialist.
The point is that both types can become excellent leaders, but it is a huge advantage for yourself, your boss, and your employees to know and acknowledge which type of leader you are.
It’s about self-awareness, which is a crucial benchmark for how you fill and develop your leadership role.
Personality profiles are one of CfL’s major specialties, and a wide range of organizations use the CfL-Personality Focus Profile during recruitment, while CfL’s JTI – Jungian Type Index – is used as a development tool to gain deeper self-awareness and enhance collaboration for both leaders and employees. We will come back to this.
Leadership is not a subject, but a choice, and once you have made that choice, you step into a new role. Regardless of your personality profile, you enter the first level of the traditional Leadership Pipeline universe, where you move from being an employee to being a leader of employees.
The basic idea of the Leadership Pipeline is that you move from employee to top executive through a series of levels, and that each level change requires a transition. Nowadays, careers rarely follow a straight path, and it is both widespread and acknowledged that one moves in and out of a leadership role.
The Leadership Pipeline should therefore first and foremost be used as a framework to understand that each leadership level carries specific tasks and challenges. And as a new leader, the biggest challenge is often to adjust to new success criteria.
Also read: 10 Good Tips for New Leaders
When you are an employee, you deliver results through your own efforts. When you are a leader, you create results through others. You have probably heard this unconsciously, but one thing is what’s on paper and another is what actually happens in practice.
One of the toughest tasks as a new leader is to delegate – especially if you were promoted because you were one of the most skilled employees.
Often new leaders continue to do what made them successful as employees, but the risk is that leadership tasks get neglected and the team as a whole risks delivering results below par.
As a new leader, aligning expectations is crucial – not least your own expectations of yourself. If you continue to expect to be deeply involved in task execution or very close to day-to-day operations, you will burn out.
Your success criteria are that you must be able to delegate tasks, set goals for others, assess their performance, and give feedback on their achievements. At some point, you will also need to recruit new employees, and then your leadership role may shift to a new level that is about assembling and motivating teams rather than managing individual employees. That time, that joy.
When it comes to your employees, trust and clarity are key. Trust is closely linked to your ability to let go and no longer be the one who always knows best. In return, you must be clear: What do you expect? What goals does each employee have, and how do you measure them?
You will probably find it easiest if you come in as an external new leader, because the accolades you receive on the first day give you natural authority, whereas you risk being judged more critically in an internal recruitment.
You may have become a leader for former colleagues who likely support you, but also expect that everything remains as before. Or perhaps one or more of your employees applied for the job that is now yours. That does not change your fundamental task: you must create results through others. Unfortunately, it can just get a bit more challenging.
Your boss has chosen you; she or he wants the best for you, and there is a direct line from your success to your boss’s success. This means that there are likely high expectations for you, but you have a lot of leeway.
The trust you show your employees is also the trust your boss has in you. You can use that to give yourself time—time to settle into your new role, time to get to know your new colleagues (the other leaders) better, time to create new alliances and new results. It should not be a cushion, but as a new leader you are probably your own worst critic.
If things go wrong, it is often because skilled specialists are promoted to leaders. That can happen as a sort of reward from the boss’s side, but if that is the case, the new leaders often continue doing what made them successful as employees. The result is impressive specialist work, while leadership tasks are neglected.
Wrong expectations can have boring consequences, and that brings us back to personality profiles.
Article continues below the box, where you can read about JTI profiles.
The leadership development program The new leader is an investment in you who wish to be prepared and developed for the leadership challenges you face in everyday life.
The program creates a unique foundation for you, whether you are a relatively new leader or have not previously undergone formal leadership training. You gain a solid starting point for developing yourself, your employees, and your results.
At most workplaces, one or more personality tests are used as part of the assessment basis when appointing or hiring a new leader, and many will encounter CfL’s recruitment tools.
After some time in the leadership role, you may be offered a test that can help you gain greater self-insight regarding your personality profile, and one of the most widespread development tools is JTI.
A personality profile cannot be right or wrong, but JTI – the Jungian Type Index – is a tool that can be used to map out what personality type you are as a person. JTI describes the fundamental differences between people based on eight preferences presented as mental opposites:
The theory was developed in English, where Judging is translated from "Judgement" and Perceiving from "Perception", while N is chosen from "Intuition" to avoid confusion with the I in Introversion.
It is important to understand that JTI does not evaluate you as a person. The test is solely about how differences can be used constructively—both individually and in groups—and as a new leader, the tool can help you learn more about yourself.
For example, there is a common misconception that introverts are bad leaders. Being introverted often means that you need thoughtfulness, analysis, and time alone. If you are extroverted, you tend to share your thoughts before they are fully formed.
There is nothing right or wrong about this, but it is good to know when you have chosen the path of leadership—for yourself, your employees, and your boss. And personality tests—both recruitment tools and development tools—can always serve as a framework for discussing whether the leadership role is the right one.
Maybe you thrive best as the boldly communicative colleague who dares to speak truth to power, or as the sharp specialist who delivers in-depth analyses.
Learn how to manage conflicts. Read about different types of conflicts and how, with the help of a simple model, you can learn to handle them effectively.
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Leadership is about achieving results through others. Read why delegation is so important – and how to do it effectively.
